On the 5th birthday of my baby girl I reminisce about what her birth created in me…
I love this photo. I wouldn’t have said this probably even a year after the birth of my girl. But, I do love it now.
Some people may say that they see a worn out woman after a 56 hour labour. And this is so very true. I was mind-blowingly exhausted. So tired I couldn’t even hold my baby. It was not only because of a long labour, but because I ended up having to have an emergency caesarean after we had planned a home birth.
But, what I see NOW. And, this is in hindsight. I see a deep sparkle in my eyes as I transition in becoming a mother.
I liken motherhood to the art of Kintsugi. The Japanese art where broken pottery is repaired by gold. It emphasises the fractures and breaks, making the repaired piece even more beautiful than the original.
That’s what becoming a parent is like to me.
Breaking Open. Breaking Apart. Forever living with your heart outside of your body.
As I said, finding this sparkle in my eyes was after I had time to process a birth that was challenging and difficult, and not having the outcome I desired or expected.
It was the biggest lesson for me in courage and vulnerability.
And, this is why we look at this in my pregnancy movement classes. I acknowledge the light in our lives, but I acknowledge the cracks as well. Feelings of failure can bring isolation and disconnection. But, it SHOULD bring as more together, especially if we realise we are all imperfectly perfect getting by as best we can.
Be Courageous and Be Vulnerable.